“Hello mister, i’ll be at my new girlfriends house for dinner today… you know.. become acquainted with her parents and so on….
An old woman visits the doctor for a routine check-up. “Doctor, I have constant gas, but the farts are always silent and they don’t stink!………….
Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies “Yes I do!”……
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from…..
The black man immediately steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.He says to the white, “See how good I am? The owner didn’t see a thing.” The white man says to the black man, “That’s typical of you black people.
and on the first night she spends in the White House,she is visited by the ghost of George Washington….
After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while,the blind guy yells to the bartender,“Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”….
‘Is God male or female?’ After thinking for a moment, the mother responds, ‘Well, God is both male and female.’…
A boy and his mother were at the zoo and found themselves at the elephant exhibit. The boy says, “Mommy, Mommy, what’s that thing hanging down?”……
One has a cross in front of him, the other a Star of David. Many people go by, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross…..
The child asks, “Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on daddy’s stomach last night?”….
“A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night….
Out of breath he asked, “Please may I hide under your skirt? I will explain later…..
They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter……
A wife came home early…and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman and was somewhat upset.
A couple were invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no […]