I was shopping in a hardware store after work and I kept seeing this older woman staring at me. I was in khakis and a polo, my bus boy “uniform”, and I said, “I don’t work here, but can I help you with something?” She said “I’m sorry, you just look like my son. He passed away some years ago.” Totally fucking awkward. I think I said something stupid like “Oh, sorry.” She just smiled and went on her way.
I ended up in line after her in the checkout. I would have avoided it, but she just appeared out of nowhere and I thought it would have been too awkward to just walk away. She started chatting with me about her son, he was a swimmer and went to Europe on a class trip and he was super fantastic and was killed by a drunk driver the night of his graduation.
The line was painfully slow, so she was able to go on forever about him. She was super nice and all, but the way she looked at me was too much.
Then she asked me “When I leave, would you please say ‘Bye, Mom?” I was a teenager and it was super weird and I never would agree to something like that now, but I said I would. She finally stopped talking about him as she was being rung up and I just tried to preoccupy myself with looking at the impulse buy stuff they had at the counter so she wouldn’t start up again.
As she left she said “Bye, James”, which is not my name and I said “Bye, mom” and just felt dirty. Well, the cashier rang up my indoor extension cord and cheap light bulb adapter and said “$59.87”.
I was all, “how are these two things $60?” He said, “That includes your mom’s stuff too.” She totally set me up.
I went running after her and the cashier started yelling at me like I was somehow stealing the shit the old lady took. Once outside, I see her scooting quickly to her car and I bolted over there.
She’s about half into her car as I totally eat shit rounding the bumper and all I can do is grab her leg and pull it just like I’m pulling yours right now.